is memory but a recreation?

This is something I wrote sometime back, dont remember when though..mustve been during one of those times when I was 'high' and on an introspective journey. Didnt know if I should really put this in here..but then I figured it wont make any difference and moreover I have not been really posting anything here, copying and pasting from a notepad doesnt take too much of an effort :)

The following may have no basis on anything that transpired in my life..but then everything that I am is a product of my experiences..so in that sense it may also be connected with me and my life...read on...


meaningless routine 'n a balmy summer day
of countless cigerettes and dreams none
intimidating and imposing, she walks in
vulnerable, 'n with promises anew
a thought so close and a touch too far
hearts abeatin' for something more

walks in the rain, a friend in need
alleyways, autos, staircases and byways
'ladies coupe', 'ancient promises'
'brothers in arms', '18 till i die'
of spoken fantasies and unspoken cravings
lust and love or was it other way round?

jealosies spawn hurt and pain
silences and partings, a way of life
tears and laughter, mingled amidst
prohibited needs and dangerous wants
tearing apart a gift so pure, altruism
was thy just a myth?

break from the past 'n a new beginning
another life or was it the same?
passions anew, thirsting for more.
mouths grappled and fingers twirled
universe imploded, becoming one
did we just die, and come again?

is memory but a recreation?
of things past and and being alive
of scooter rides and car drives
late lunches and evening movies
lingering conversations and spontaneous laughter
phone calls and window shopping

beautiful fingers, twitching nose
hair like satin, smile bewitching
warm embraces, teasing glances
simple dreams, a beautiful song
secret longings and hidden passions
deep desires and love explored

its not poetry that i aspire for
its not consolation that i seek
its in the hearts of men to ponder
the vagaries of fate and misfortunes
to die a thousand deaths
in the light of sins committed

beauty defined and beauty lost
never before and never after
redemption shall i seek,
for tomorrows but are reflections
of guilt 'n sorrows of days passed
of mistakes sought and steps untaken

journey, into an unknown vortex
promises and desires, satiation sought
inadmissible truths and untold lies
lay across an ocean of hope
the search for truth, none remains
opague and blurred visions remain

This is sort of incomplete, I dont know why I didnt write anymore...probably dozed off :)

Anyways I dont have the energy to continue... someday probably when I revist this I might think of completing this..but then again, I may not either.